a blog by lucas, human person

I went to my cousins wedding a few months ago. when it was over, everyone returned to the hotel. my brother and his husband wanted to have another drink. My partner and I wanted to hang out with them. my aunt suggested getting a bottle of wine from upstairs. in short order, for the first time since I was probably an early teenager, everyone on my fathers side of the family (with the exception of my recently deceased uncle), was in one place. we hung out for hours. 

that is an experience that I will never have again. it happened once. it will have always happened once. I did not miss it. I lived it. my only interest was to experience it. 

that wasn’t “healthy.” nothing is “healthy” about staying up until 4 am drinking and eating pretzels.

but who cares? life isn’t always healthy. are you going to give up your opportunity to live? to experience, adventure, explore, love, play, run, jump, to feel free? are you going to give it up because your sleep is more important? because it isn’t “healthy?”

you will die.

do everything “right.” you still die. 

do everything “wrong.” you still die.

I would rather die having lived. 

our worry and our stress is a cage. and any cage functions only to restrict us from freedom, from living unbound. I hate that. I hate that a tremendous amount.

we have made health our cage.